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Well... Here I Am :)

Yeah. How are you going? This is a safe haven. Guess I'm the first to welcome you. I do like the Citadel and its clientele. Chill but engaging.

Here, have a sausage sanga and a VB. Grab a stump and park yer hump.

Kind regards,

Bally)
 
imitator said:
and making sure this wasn't some elaborate internet trap
Click to expand...
Of course it's a trap. It's always a trap!

Its A Trap GIF by StickerGiant


Say there good citizen, thanks for peeking out from under the covers to join us here hunkerin' in the bunker. There's cheap drinks, good food and a variety of snacks in the C-81 Cantina and other more elaborate items for your dining and dancing pleasure in our additional venues.

There may be more buttons and gizmos here to play with and confuse you than you are used to but why wouldn't there be in an advanced off-world colony? Just don't press that big red button unless you really mean it and scan the headlines in the tips and tutorials section if you get lost down a dark hallway or, you can always just ask! 😉

We aim to please, not only ourself which we won't talk about because eww so as it goes for everyone, suggestions to make this joint work better for you are always welcome.
 
@Bally LOL

Yes, I have staff: Me, myself and I :LOL:

As noted in my intro post, besides Freija I am also --TPTB--, Administrator, Thought Police and Test Dummy1 and my name is Elisabeth but don't call me Liz or you will be instantly banned and spelling my name with a "z" will get you 20 lashes with a wet noodle! :ROFLMAO:

There has been 1 application for a moderator position but I'm going to wait another week or two to let things develop a bit more before making any decisions.

And oh hell, it's 10 of 3:00 and I should try to sleep and don't pick on @Kenzo , he's moving on Tuesday. :giggle:
 
Bally said:
Only 20?:(:cry:
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There are reasons for the 20 lash limit

A Highly Technical Analysis of Wet‑Noodle Structural Integrity Under Repeated Lashing Conditions​

Abstract​

This study investigates the mechanical behavior of *Spaghettus limpificus* (common wet noodle) when subjected to twenty consecutive lashes upon a human‑adjacent surface. Results indicate catastrophic structural failure, emotional exhaustion (primarily on the part of the noodle), and a degradation curve rivaling that of overcooked linguine in a toddler’s fist.

1. Material Properties of the Wet Noodle​

1.1 Composition​

A standard wet noodle consists of:
  • 72% water
  • 27% starch
  • 1% regret

1.2 Mechanical Characteristics​

  • Tensile Strength: Comparable to a warm earthworm with self‑esteem issues
  • Flexural Rigidity: Approximately equal to that of a damp shoelace
  • Elastic Modulus: Negative (it becomes more floppy when stretched)
  • Shear Resistance: Exists only in theory

1.3 Failure Modes​

Wet noodles exhibit three primary failure modes:
  1. Flop Buckling – spontaneous collapse under their own emotional burden
  2. Hydro‑Yielding – water content evacuates the structure like a panicked crowd
  3. Starch Delamination – the noodle simply gives up

2. Experimental Setup: The Twenty‑Lash Protocol​

The noodle was gripped at one end (the “handle”) and accelerated toward a target surface with the maximum velocity achievable by a human who is simultaneously laughing and questioning their life choices.

Each lash was recorded using:
  • High‑speed cameras
  • A disappointed Italian grandmother
  • A microphone that captured the sound “fwip” 20 times

3. Degradation Analysis After Each Lash​


Lashes 1–3: The Optimistic Phase​

The noodle retains approximately 80% structural integrity.
It believes, incorrectly, that it is a whip.

Lashes 4–7: The Realization Phase​

Micro‑fractures appear in the starch matrix.
The noodle begins to resemble a topographical map of sadness.

Lashes 8–12: The Existential Phase​

  • Water content begins to redistribute unevenly
  • The noodle bends at angles not recognized by Euclidean geometry
  • Integrity drops to 40%
  • The noodle questions whether al dente was ever achievable

Lashes 13–17: The Catastrophic Phase​

Observable phenomena:
  • Tip fraying
  • Starch shedding
  • A sound best described as “soggy despair”Integrity drops to 10–15%.

Lashes 18–20: The Noodle Apocalypse​

By lash 20, the noodle has:
  • Lost all tensile strength
  • Become two noodles
  • Then three noodles
  • Then a small pile of carbohydrate confetti
Integrity: 0% (±0.5% depending on humidity)

4. Post‑Experiment Structural Profile​

After the full twenty‑lash cycle, the noodle exists in one of the following states:

1780437946265.png

5. Conclusions​

A wet noodle is structurally unfit for disciplinary applications, martial arts, or any activity requiring:
  • Strength
  • Stability
  • Dignity
After twenty lashes, the noodle’s degradation is so complete that it can be classified as:
  • A sauce thickener
  • A cautionary tale
  • A metaphor for burnout

Yeah, that's A.I. but I thought an explanation of the limits of noodle flagellation was necessary. :cool:
 
Freija said:

Yeah, that's A.I. but I thought an explanation of the limits of noodle flagellation was necessary. :cool:
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Righto Cobs. Here I was mullin that you meant this type of wet noodle.


Real edible noodles. Hmm, that's different. Meet you in the kitchen and not the pool.

Bally)
 
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